My father was born in Bristol, England on January 14, 1912 and died on July 17 2004. Today he would have been 112. While it is customary in the Jewish religion to remember the anniversary of someone's death or Yahrzeit https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/yahrzeit-remembering-on-the-anniversary-of-a-death/ by lighting a candle, since birthdays were always celebrated in our family, I have continued to celebrate my parents' birthdays.
Last year, my dad's birth date fell on a Saturday and I decided to sponsor a Kiddush or luncheon in the synagogue to which he once belonged (and to which I now belong). As is customary, the entire congregation was invited along with members of my family. A few of my father's friends and others who knew my father also happened to be there and it turned out to be a most enjoyable event,
This year, although his birthday fell on a day after the Saturday service, I decided to again make a kiddush. Fortunately, my sister Estelle Paget was able to come in from Victoria and other family members were able to join us, along with a slightly smaller number of my father's friends. After all, many of them are now in their late 80s and 90s. But as my daughter Claire said, he would have been pleased by the turnout, and the variety and quality of food including herring, smoked salmon, various salads and deserts. There was also a birthday cake since another congregant had just turned 80 and she arranged for a large cake to be served to the congregation.
While some people do not have fond memories of their fathers, I am not one of them. I have wonderful memories of my dad. And for good reason. Those who knew my father described him as a true gentleman. He had a marvelous sense of humour and a delightful, stoic outlook on life. Which doesn't mean he didn't enjoy life. On the contrary, Stoics often derive as much joy in life, if not more than Epicureans.
If you are confused, I suggest you read "A Guide to the Good Life: the Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William Irvine https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/5617966. True Stoics derive pleasure from what they have, rather than what they yearn for! This was certainly true for my dad who was more interested in people and books than money.
One of the highlights of my life was going on a Black Sea cruise with my father in 1994. Our destination was Odessa, where my father's family supposedly came from. (I have subsequently learned that it may have been another community in then Russia, now Ukraine.) Odessa is one of Vancouver's sister cities, and when then Mayor Philip Owen heard we were going on this trip, he wrote a lovely letter of introduction to the mayor of Odessa requesting that we be received at City Hall.
Odessa' City Hall. One can only hope it hasn't been damaged by the Russians 
A letter of introduction from Philip Owen to the Mayor of Odessa
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| My father and me, along with another tourist seeking out family roots in Odessa. |
After getting off the ship we went for a tour of the city with another couple whose family also had roots in the area. We visited a severely damaged synagogue and other sights. In the afternoon, we set off for City Hall. Unfortunately the Odessa mayor was in Kiev but we were received by the Deputy Mayor.
Before leaving Vancouver I attended an event held to mark the 50th anniversary of the Vancouver-Odessa Sister City relationship. I purchased some items to take to Odessa, but never bothered to open them beforehand. During our meeting I presented the deputy mayor a T-shirt and pin to celebrate the anniversary. Imagine my embarrassment when my father showed me the photos he took of the ceremony in the mayor's office!
Presenting a shirt I had purchased at the 50th anniversary celebration of Vancouver and Odessa's Sister City relationship
In case you can't read the shirt it says 'Russia-Canada'
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