A special Labour Day weekend: Georgia & Patrick's Wedding

 

      As most readers of this blog well know, I have two daughters of whom I am very proud. Claire has had a varied career since graduating from McGill as an at-risk youth worker in the Downtown Eastside and an eastside 'safe house'; she's been a restaurant server, liquor taster, and more. But her real love is music, concerts, event organizing and looking after her friends, many of whom  (as she would tell you) have not had as happy an upbringing as she has.

     My other daughter is Georgia. At her Crofton House School graduation party in 2002, I recall two of her friends predicting she would one day work for Doctors without Borders. While she hasn't done so yet, she did eventually study medicine, volunteered at a clinic in Peru, travelled around the world and is today an oncologist in Victoria BC.
     This past weekend, Georgia married Patrick Moody-Grigsby. As many people remarked, it was about time. They first met at Dalhousie 12 years ago, and have been living and travelling together for most of the past decade.
      Those who know my new son-in-law know him to be a very bright, self-assured and likeable individual. In the past he has worked for Microsoft and various companies creating computer games. When I asked him what I should tell people who ask what he does now, he told me to say he's involved in the interface between humans and technology.
     Patrick takes after his father, Wayne Grigsby, another most interesting and accomplished man. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Grigsby A Montrealer, now living in Chester Nova Scotia, he's known to some as a former host of CBC's Cross Country Check-up. Others know him as a former wine and food columnist for the Montreal Gazette. He has written and produced numerous TV shows including North of 60 and Black Harbour, and documentaries about Pierre Elliot Trudeau. Suffice it to say, he's great company, as is his wife Barbara, who was involved with the administrative side of his TV and documentary activities.
     Georgia and Patrick decided they wanted a wedding at a venue that would offer a holiday for their many friends and family coming from across Canada, the UK and Australia. They eventually picked the Overbury Farm Resort on Thetis Island, a short ferry ride from Chemainus. It turned out to be an inspired choice. Anyone who has arranged a wedding in recent years knows there are often more weddings than suitable venues and dates available. Georgia and Patrick were lucky and a cancellation allowed them to book for Labour Day Weekend.
     Two of the problems of organizing a wedding on a small island off the coast of British Columbia are transportation and accommodation. When Patrick and Georgia decided this should be the venue, with Sally's help they booked all the available accommodation on the island. This included the resort, many B&Bs and a three-bedroom Airbnb for us. They also booked blocks of ferry reservations for those travelling from Vancouver.
     It was a weekend affair. Most of the guests arrived Friday afternoon. Some flew from Vancouver, which turned out to be a wise decision. It's a very short flight and at $80 each way, very reasonable. Others drove up from Victoria and managed to catch the regular ferry between Chemainus and Thetis. The groom's family and friends journeyed from Nova Scotia and Montreal.
     We were able to take the Tsawassen-Duke Point ferry which was fortunate since BC Ferries cancelled two sailings between Tsawwassen and Swartz Bay. (A relative, who once worked for BC Ferries, told me this was completely unnecessary. If they were short a life boat, they could have towed an inflated zodiac behind. He said it had happened before.)
      Friday night's event was a barbq at the local marina pub. It was the perfect venue for the two families and various friends to meet up. I commented that I was surprised by the diversity of customers in the restaurant. Someone suggested I look at the large yachts in the marina, He then went on to tell me Thetis Island is a popular spot for west coast boaters heading up to Alaska.
     At 3:30 on Saturday afternoon, with the sun shining and a perfect temperature, Barbara and Wayne and Patrick's other family members and friends, gathered along with Georgia's family and many friends on the lawn of Overbury Farm. The property has been in one family since 1905 and is run like a family operation. This year they accommodated six weddings, although in years gone by it was up to twelve.
     Depending on the weather, the wedding ceremony can be held outside under a pergola or tent, or inside a beautiful purpose-built pavilion designed to hold about 100 guests. All the venues overlook the ocean.
     It was a very simple ceremony. Like most couples today, Georgia and Patrick wrote their own vows. But they also made their own wedding rings, at a jewellery designer/manufacturer in Port Townsend, Washington.
     Following the ceremony, photos were taken on the beach. I made the mistake of not bringing regular eyeglasses and the photographer gently urged me to remove my darkened transition lenses. I mention this only as advice for others who might make the same mistake. (I was also surprised to discover that my light silk jacket seemed too tight, even though it had fit quite well earlier in the summer. I subsequently realized that while I was wearing the right pants, I had brought a 20-year-old jacket, rather than the one that came with the trousers. Fortunately, no one noticed except for Maxine, Sally's best friend of the past 50 years, who of course said nothing until I mentioned it!
     It was agreed that the speeches would be limited and kept brief. While everyone was quite worried about what I might say, and how long I might ramble on, I managed to stay within my time limit and not offend too many people. Below are my speaking notes. Fortunately, I was able to keep them in my pocket, but had them with me just in case!

·             I am glad that we don’t have as the MC today the MC who presided over the last wedding I attended in Toronto. He offered $1,000 to whoever made the shortest speech. I’d be conflicted.

·            Sally and I are delighted to welcome you all to this most unique setting for a wedding and thank you for being a part of this special celebration.

Georgia

·            It’s customary at a wedding for the father of the bride to embarrass his daughter, and so I don’t want to disappoint

·            To those of you who know Georgia as a doctor, I want you to know she didn’t always have the same level of medical knowledge that she has today

·            This was illustrated when she was quite young and had just learned about Remembrance Day at School

·            At our following Sunday night family dinner, she turned to my father and said “Grandpa, did you die in the war?”

·            Later that year she asked if he would attend her school play. He told her that unfortunately he couldn’t since he had to attend a funeral. “Grandpa,” she said. “Why are you always going to funerals?” My father replied. “Georgia, if you don’t go to theirs, they won’t come to yours.” It took her a while to figure that one out too.

Patrick

·            It is also customary at a wedding for the father of the bride to say something about his future son-in-law.

·            At my golf club, we have different expressions to describe different types of shots. For example, a Linda Ronstadt is when someone hits his shot past yours. “It Blue Bayou”

·            There is also a son-in-law shot. That is when you must say “That’s not exactly what I was hoping for.”

·            As I am sure everyone here can appreciate, this is not the case with Patrick. He’s all any father could hope for in a son-in-law.

·            The only thing is, at the Toronto wedding, the father of the bride started off his speech by saying he had some reservations when he asked his daughter what her future husband did for a living and she told him he was a professional poker player. It was true.

·            Patrick, I know you are not a professional poker player, but I must confess, I don’t really understand what it is you do for a living.  While I understand you once had something to do with computer games, it was so much easier when I could tell people you worked for Microsoft. Maybe one of your colleagues will explain to me later in the evening what exactly you are doing.  But please ask them to use simple words.

Barbara and Wayne

·            Having attended a few weddings in my life, I know it’s also customary for the father of the bride to welcome the Machatonim. You don’t know Machatonim?

·            This is a Hebrew/Yiddish word that, so far as I know, that has no equivalent in any other language. Machatonim are the parents of the person your son or daughter marries.

·            They are people with whom you are also entering a lifelong relationship by virtue of your respective children’s union.

·            Saying something at a wedding about one’s future in-laws can be akin to skating on thin ice. However, in this case, Sally and I are delighted to have Barbara and Wayne become part of our extended family.

·            I first got to know them one weekend when they stayed at our home while Sally was away. Wayne and I enjoyed a game of golf and as any golfers out there know, four and a half hours on a golf course is a wonderful way to learn about someone.

·            For those of you who don’t know Wayne, he’s a very accomplished man. Google him after dinner. Some of you might want to ask him about his role as executive-producer of a 2004 two-part thriller titled ‘Sex Traffic’

·            While Barbara and I didn’t play golf, I got to know a bit about her in our kitchen. Since it was a special occasion, I had purchased a very nice roast for dinner. Barbara was very creative when it came to preparing a variety of dishes, but what I remember best was when she suggested that it was time for me to take the roast out of the oven.

·            While I like my meat rare, I don’t like it raw and suggested it stay in for another 20 minutes or so. Barbara was both gentle, and firm, suggesting that it be taken out right away. And so, I obliged. The meat was perfectly cooked.

·            Georgia, while I will not give you any advice on how to manage your relationship with your mother-in-law, I will tell you that you should probably always take her advice when she says it is time to take the roast out of the oven!

Conclusion

·            Let me conclude by saying that at some weddings Sally and I have attended, we worried whether the marriage would last. This is most definitely not the case this time.

·            Given all that Georgia and Patrick have been through together over the past decade (or is it even longer?), they both know what they are getting themselves into.

·            They have travelled the world, supported each other in so many ways, and encountered situations most people never get to experience. (Like hitting a parked car in Oman.)

·            I am sure everyone here tonight will agree these two accomplished and caring people are very well suited to one another.

·            Sally and I are very pleased you are finally getting married and delighted to be with all your friends and family in this most creative setting on this wonderful occasion.

·            I, therefore, invite you to join me in a toast to Georgia and Patrick…. and also our new Machatonim Barbara and Wayne.

   

            After dinner and speeches from Patrick's brother, Georgia's sister, and the bride and groom, the music began, orchestrated by Claire's best friend Tina, a well-known Vancouver DJ. She managed to get everyone onto the floor with a hora, followed by a traditional Jewish dance in which the bride and groom are raised up in chairs, joined by a handkerchief. 

            The music lasted much longer than most of the older generation.  

S           Sunday began with a brunch followed by a day of games, or rest, depending on disposition. Many went off to Pioneer Pacific camp where Georgia had arranged a few hours of archery. What she didn't arrange for was a photo of the bride and groom as the bullseye target. Apparently, there were a number of direct hits.

               Sunday night was another meal, this one catered by a Russian woman who prepared Mexican barbq. Natasha moved to Thetis three years ago after travelling the world. (Her favourite county was Cyprus). I wondered how she could manage to live on an island with only 350 other residents, after such a cosmopolitan existence. She said she travelled to Europe for three or four month periods. It prompts one to realize there are many different ways to live a life.

            Monday morning, we gathered up our things and all caught the 11 am ferry to Chemainus. After a tour of this delightful town, we headed up to Nanaimo and toured a future development property I own. Last night, my wife's great niece Miki headed back to Australia, soon others will return to England and other destinations across Canada.  

             Everyone who has organized a wedding knows just how difficult and complex it can be. In this case, we feel very lucky. Our daughter and son-in-law looked after so many arrangements....quite different from a generation ago when a wedding was organized by the parents for the parents, not the bride and groom.  The weather cooperated and those affiliated with the venue went out of their way to keep things very warm and friendly. 

            While we often attend weddings at which we worry whether the marriage will work, I can say without a doubt that this marriage will work. As the groom's father pointed out, Patrick and Georgia are two type A personalities that get along. 

             Sally and I are looking forward to a trip out east at some point, both to reconnect with our in-laws in the lovely town of Chester and play Cabot's Trail, an excellent golf course in Cape Breton.   

            Best wishes Patrick and Georgia. I hope you are as happy as your parents have been over the past five decades, in the case of Wayne and Barbara, and four decades for Sally and me. Below are a few more photos.

The groom's father made the first speech

The groom's brother had a difficult time saying anything negative about his brother

Dancing with the bride

It's traditional at some Jewish weddings for the bride and groom to be lifted onto chairs and joined by a handkerchief. While this was not a Jewish wedding,n per se, the tradition was honoured.

The groom, his mother Barbara and Sally at the Friday night barbq

The final activity of the weekend festivities-roasting marshmallows